Monday, July 26, 2010

Finding my song in the night

Music has always been a big part of my life. God blessed me with a reasonable singing voice. I took lessons for 11 years during my elementary and high school years.
When I married, God once again blessed me, with the man of my dreams, Michael, who also has a love for music. He was in one of the Memphis "Garage Bands" of the late '60's., playing the keyboard by ear. Over the years, he and I have sung at weddings, funerals, church functions and services, and get-togethers with friends.
One of our greatest joys has been singing in our church choir.
In the highs and lows of my life, music has been a comfort and a solace and  has spoken to me in so many ways. It lifts me up and is probably my highest means of praise to the Father.
Music is especially important to me now and is giving me such comfort, in this summer of discontent. My mother, whom we have watched decline over the past two years, began a downward spiral, of which there will be no return. After 6 weeks of dealing with  a multitude of issues involving her and her health, the Lord gave us a peaceful week  last week. However, during this time, mother's doctor confirmed to us the thing we had suspicioned, thougth about, and wondered about but could not quite bring ourselves to say outloud: that she did indeed believe that Mother has one of the most detestable of maladies that we all fear: Alzheimer's disease. This has been hard to digest and I feel sure the full impact of this news has yet to sink in with my sister and me.
The Lord was gracious in giving us a calm week to receive this news. I don't think we could have handled it before then. He knows.
This past week  gave me a chance to catch my breath and put some attention back on my pattern designs, of which has been put on hold during this time.
In doing some planning, I posted on Facebook that I was looking for someone to do some artwork. Immediately, a Facebook friend, who was an aquaintance that I had only met a couple of times, responded that she might be able to help and gave me her phone number. She is a lovely Christian woman, who is artistic but she is first and foremost a gifted country song writer. So, at 9:30 that night, I called her and we discussed what I was needing. As we were about to hang up, the Lord urged me to ask her to pray for us and our mother.
As it turned out, she had watched her own dad battle this disease for 10 years before he passed away.
Then, she began to tell me how God had told her that she would be the one to walk her dad into Heaven. As she described to me how it came about and about his passing, her gift with songwriting and her gift of telling a story, unfolded into one of the most beautiful stories I have ever heard. Indeed, as she ministered to me, it was as if she were singing to me. It became clear to me that this call was not really  just about patterns, but God orchestrated it all to give me a message He knew I needed to hear. He spoke to me through her, and told me that I would be able to handle this, that He would supply me with all that I needed on this journey, that I would discover things about Him and about myself. What blessed assurrance this has been for me.
The next morning, I opened my Bible and the first words I saw was "Finding a song in the Night"
"But no one says "Where is God my Maker, who gives songs in the night" (Job 35:10) For me, that was simply confirmation that I had heard from Him..
It is hard to realize that this is my mother now, this amazing, remarkable woman who raised me. She helped my daddy farm in the summer, build houses in the winter, and handmade everything we wore and ate for years. She sewed beautifully without a pattern and was creative beyond belief.
In the early '60's, she borrowed $20,000  (a daunting sum at that time) and bought a clothing business and operated it succesfully for 30 years. She taught Sunday School, was president of the PTA, a Brownie leader, a county Election commissioner for 30 years, and was hostess at a restaurant when she was 80. For about 10 years she made and sold Fresh coconut cakes (usually 50-60) for the holidays. She was the most hard working and industrious woman I have ever known. She has always had an unwavering faith and been my prayer warrior. She has always given her time and talents to the Lord, her church, her family and her community. She has dealt with her share of heartache and tragedy. She has taught me so much and I am thankful for the values she instilled in me. By the way, she is known to all by her grandmother name "MomMil". Her family has always been her pride and joy.
My mother is still quite coherent in many respects. My sister and I are cherishing the conversations we are able to have with her, the time that we spend with her and mother is content.
A dear friend sent me a beautiful and encouraging note last week and  reminded me that when I am discouraged to turn to my music.
These words in the song "Every Step" have been my  some of my greatest comfort:
I have known a peace that I could not explain
when everything around me fell apart
for Your promises brought hope within my pain
that You would heal the wounds inside my heart
When my feet could not go on another mile
for the road had left me tired and oh so weak
you would whisper to me, "Child, come rest a while"
Then You'd hold me close and weep along with me
Every step that I have taken
Every valley I've walked through
I have seen that your grace cannot be shaken
Every step brought me closer Lord to You
(not sure who wrote this but is arranged by Cliff Duren)
The Lord has blessed in so many ways, and I see how He has been preparing us for this. We have a very supportive family who prays. We have a daughter who is a Registered Nurse and a daughter-in-law who is a Nurse Practitioner.Their counsel and skills are proving invaluable to us. My mother's baby sister helps us with her and she is precious to us as well. The Lord has opened doors this week, answered prayers, given comfort and peace, and sent singing angels.
I would like to ask that you keep our family and most of all, our mother in your prayers.


marty (A Stroll Thru Life) said...

Such a precious post. I will keep your whole family in prayer. I know the Lord will guide you through this journey. God Bless. Hugs, Marty

Kirstie said...

Sarah, I was sorry to read your post. I apologize but I had no idea your Mom had gotten sick. I have always liked your Mom. I will put you and your family in my prayer journal and will faithfully pray that God will lead you through this time. I wanted to share a verse that God had lead me to recently; "When the cares of my heart are many, your consulations cheer my soul" Psalm 94:19

Karen said...

You all are in my prayers, as well. How wonderful it is that you were able to see the gift He gave you last night. Blessings, Karen

Anonymous said...

Your post leaves me achingly sad but gloriously hopeful all at the same time. I celebrate with you as you honor Ma Mil. She is a great lady and an inspiration for all the younger ladies that have been blessed to know her. I pray peace for your family and many precious days ahead. I love you all. Lanetta Heyen

Sewconsult said...

I will remember you and your mother in my prayers. My sister & I are getting our mother's house for sale. Mother has been in assisted living for a year, but is too frail to live at home again. We are celebrating her birthday this week. She is turning 90. For the past year, she has been ready for the Lord to take her home to be with our Dad. As difficult as your mom's days are ahead, they will be harder on you and the others who love her. (MIL had Alzheimers) My mother has most of her mental abilities, but is so tired. She has had a full life, a strong Christian who has taught Sunday School for more than 60 yrs. She has been a faithful servant of the Lord.
Beckie in Brentwood, TN

Laurie said...

Oh Sara, what a precious post! Your mother sounds like a delightful woman who has passed down all her beautiful characteristics to you - alot of what you wrote about your mother is what I see in you - you are a beautiful reflection of your mother. Keeping you in my prayers!

Joy said...

I am so grateful that God allowed me to be a friend in your time of need and for our conversation to bring you peace.
I know you are stronger than you think and are up to the task ahead.
There is a light that you can't see but is shining down into your darkness.His love will guide you through each step of the way.
Call me any time of the day or night.It will be my honor to pray with you.

Jan said...

I am sorry to learn of your mother's health, and know your heart is aching and breaking. I do believe that our greatest gift is caring for our loved ones, and God supplies us with amazing strength for that special task. While my mother did not have Alzheimer's, some of my most cherished moments are those spent at her bedside. May our prayers help carry you through whatever lies ahead.

Bunny said...

So beautifully written. I am in tears. I wish I had known your MomMil personally. She is prescious.

Amy H said...

Sara, thank you for inviting me to read this beautiful post. You are such a special lady. You are truly your mother's child and a blessed woman! I am also blessed to have you in my life and to have known your mother. I love you! Praying for you and your family.
Amy Haynes

Rettabug said...

You & your entire family are in my prayers, Sara. I know, first hand, how difficult this diagnosis is. (My mother had it & I deeply fear it for myself).

I hope & pray that you'll have many years left with your Mom & that there may be some medical breakthrough to slow the progression.
If you ever need a shoulder to cry or lean on, just call.

Mega Hugs,

Martha said...

What a wonderful tribute to what sounds like the most remarkable woman. I will certainly add my prayers to the many already praying for you, your mom and you family.

Goosegirl said...

Oh Sara, I am so sorry I did not see this post before. Your mama sounds like such a gift. What an amazing woman you have for a mama. I will continue praying for you and her and your family as you walk this road. My darling grandmother had Alzheimer for about 10 years before she went to be with Jesus and my grandfather. Many times it was very sad and difficult. But sometimes it was funny and sweet and we knew that even though she did not remember us, she remembered loving her family.
I am so sad for you that you will be dealing with this hard disease. I pray for mercy and comfort and peace and wisdom. And I pray that the Lord allows you glimpses of your mama to continue.
And like you, I love to sing to Jesus.


free website hit counter login page
Powered by web analyticswebsite-statistics.html stats software program.